'Real World' star Danny Roberts speaks to MSU

By Amanda Dyslin, Staff Writer


He did not choose the role; the role chose him.
Danny Roberts of "The Real World" New Orleans had only seen the first season of "The Real World" when he decided to try out for the show, and he was not prepared for the celebrity he would become.

"For the first year after the show, I was completely overwhelmed -- I didn't think so many people watched the show," he said. "I was just interested in getting out of my desk-job in Georgia and getting to live in a nice house rent free."

But after the show wrapped, Roberts said he was launched into a whole new world where everyone knew his name and everyone wanted to be his friend. He found himself put on a pedestal just for being an openly gay man on television, which was a position he was not prepared for. 

"For whatever reason, people have related to me," he said. "A lot of people realized they were gay through me, and straight people realized it was OK to be gay because of my example. 

"I was getting letters from so many people coming out of the closet, I was beginning to think there were no straight people left in the country. And it took a long time to accept the fact that for some reason these people saw something in me that made them come out themselves."

Roberts said he does not regret putting himself in the public eye and has not experienced much prejudice for being openly gay on television. It was society, he said, that placed him in the role of "spokesperson" for the gay community. 

"I do have a lot of experience with gay prejudice, but not from being on TV," he said. "The hate I experienced was mostly before my experience with "The Real World.'"

But despite the fact that he never asked for the role, he has embraced the position by speaking with people in open forums about gay issues and discrimination.

Roberts visited MSU Wednesday to help celebrate Eliminate Hate 7, and he spoke with students about various gay issues, including how he came out to his Southern Baptist parents, and what it was like to realize he was gay after he had grown up in a homophobic community.

"One stipulation for me doing the show was that I had to come out to my parents -- I wasn't allowed to show up to film until my parents knew," he said. "I was very terrified -- I didn't know how my parents were going to take it."

Roberts found out he had been cast on the show just two weeks before filming began, which meant he had to come out to his parents on Christmas Eve.

"'Merry Christmas -- I'm gay,'" he said. "It made for an interesting Christmas, but I felt it was the best time. I was at home, and I wanted to be there at home in person to tell my parents."

Roberts said his parents took the news fairly well, but his mother had a hard time separating her religious beliefs from her unconditional love for her son. He said his father felt uncomfortable meeting Roberts' boyfriend on camera while visiting him in New Orleans.

"I also had to go through the thing with them that it's OK for my little brother to hang out with us 'cause he's not going to turn out gay, too -- it's not going to wear off. Oh my God, he's going to turn gay just by hanging around me.'"

His mother, he said, also feared that just because Roberts is gay, he would acquire AIDS, which is a common misconception about gay people.

"It's not more of a worry than if I were straight," he said. "It's not a gay thing; It's not a gay disease."

Roberts said he didn't even realize he was gay until his college years. He said he dated women all through college, but his relationships never lasted more than a couple weeks, and they were not comfortable for him.

"I knew I was different, but I just thought it was the fact that I liked tennis and no one else did -- Boy, was it a lot more than that," he said.

Roberts said he grew up in an ultra-conservative "small-minded" community. He said he was taught that being gay was wrong, which he believed to be true until he was exposed to gay people in college.

"When I was growing up, I had no idea what being gay was about," he said. "All I knew was what I had been told -- that it was disgusting, and I had never been educated about it.

"I was very homophobic when I got to college. But then I started to meet people who blew every one of those stereotypes away -- so I was confused for a long time."

When he realized he was gay, Roberts said, he began to see how his parents' religion justified hate. He brought his mother to a church that accepts and welcomes everyone, regardless of sexuality or race.

"I take her to open-minded, loving churches like what church and religion should really be about," he said. "I show her what (religion) can be with positive examples, instead of the crap that she takes part in."

Roberts said no one can change someone else's mind about issues such as homophobia because a person has to be open to the change. He said the best way to encourage gay acceptance is for people to set positive examples and not to be afraid to express themselves.

"I do know from certain sources that (in my hometown) I am referred to as 'the MTV fag,'" he said. "But that's fine. Those people will sit there and be hateful for their whole lives, and I could care less."

Roberts said he thinks the most difficult part for people who are openly gay in today's society is self-acceptance. He said he thinks happiness comes when people accept themselves for who they are -- gay or straight.

Roberts lives in Seattle, he said, where people could not care less that he is gay or that he was ever on "The Real World."

"I live in Seattle now, and it is so passe -- nobody cares that I'm gay," he said.

He said he is a student at the Brian Utting School of Massage in Seattle and is still together with his boyfriend who visited him on "The Real World."