Immediately after we stopped filming, I went home to Fayetteville. Everyone I love was there— Danny and Paul; my best friend, Renee; my parents. A day after being there, Danny and I got wickedly sick. We were violently ill, throwing up. Peter's a doctor, but he couldn't figure what was wrong with us. My mom she's a couch doctor thought it had to do with finally having all the pressure off us. We were just sick after what we'd been through.

Definitely after the show, we spazzed out for a while.

 

When cameras are on you, you're under so much stress and you don't even know it. You're using reserves that you don't even know are inside you. Whether you're thinking about the cameras on you or not, they become part of your psyche. I get up early now. I swear, I never got out of bed in that house. When you're asleep, it's the only time it's truly peaceful. And let's be real here. We get out of bed because we have something to do. We didn't have anything to do in the Belfort. Trying to create something to do each and every day can be tedious work.

After a week of my freaking out and decompressing, Peter came to pick me up in Fayetteville. I packed up all my stuff and drove back to New Orleans. Peter had found a new apartment for us, I got a job working with an online radio company called Fastband.com. It was on Bourbon Street and 1 had to interview people on the street. It was pretty crazy. Eventually, the company went under.

Meanwhile, the show started airing and all these people were calling from Los Angeles saying I was going to be a star. At first, it was really fun having people telling me I was the next big thing, talking circles around me. But in the back of my head, i kept thinking, I don't think I can act. I went on these auditions I wasn't qualified for. I didn't know why I was doing it. I found it all pretty overwhelming and humiliating. It's a brutal industry and it's not something I want to do.

Of course, if Oprah calls, I'm still here, but I decided I wanted to have a real life. I'm going back to school to get my law degree. I have two semesters left and then I'm going to try and do law school, too. I think Peter and I are going to stay in New Orleans for the next two years. We haven't made any solid plans for the future, but eventually, the intention is to move back to California, which is where he's from.

It's really awkward living in New Orleans. Everyone here has seen the show everyone. Julie didn't believe me that it was so bad. She came to visit me and totally panicked. Aside from the fame stuff, I like New Orleans more every day. I live three blocks away from the Belfort. It doesn't evoke any emotion in me. It's totally demolished now, anyway. I don't go to the places we used to go as a cast. For the most part, I've made it my own city. Hell, usually I'm out of town going to universities or traveling or seeing friends. Peter makes fun of me that I'm never in town for more than a week.

Things with Peter have been really good. We went through some hard times right after the show, but I think that happens in every relationship.

Certainly, we all have our quirks. When the show was airing, I was nervous all the time. I had no idea week to week what was going to air. I
was a wreck. Between being a fulltlime doctor and having me as a girlfriend, Peter really went through a lot. We both did. At one point when it was pretty bad, I sal my butt down in the closet and cried for a full hour. Sometimes you just have to get those feelings out.

 

In the end, I thought the show was really good. Not because of how [ came off; I just thought it was a good show. I got calls from cast members flipping out, but I didn't feel the same way. Without a doubt, I was one of the background characters. I think that's probably a lot easier than being one of the focuses. I got to watch it on television as if I were a regular viewer. A lot of what happened was news to me.

My family is so cool. They loved The Real World. My mom said one day, "How fascinating is your life?" She was like, "Stop being bitter, and think about how great your life is. You're on a television show; you've got the love of your life; you travel places. It's incredible." Nobody in my life was ever pissed off at me or negative. My relationships just went right back to normal. From what I hear from other people on the show, that's a blessing.

As far as my cast is concerned, you know, it's weird. It's like you start on one level and then you start slip-sliding down. You watch the show and see what people say about you, and you promise you're not going to get rnad about anything, but it's hard to resist. ! was so mad at Jamie at first. I think we're both realiy stubborn. He and I needed to let our guards down. He's just a really charming cool guy. I'm so happy I have that friendship now. I'm unhappy I didn't have that friendship during the show, but you can't cry over spilled milk.

And with Melissa, things got so much better, It was really because of last year's book that we finally got it out in the open. We realized that there was something big between us: Julie. Melissa called me and read me things we'd said about each other. It was all, "Julie told me this" and "Julie told me that." We got Julie on the phone. She told us that she was just trying to help us get along. What? You tell one person the other person thinks crappy things about her? That's a helpful thing? I didn't believe her.
Melissa, Jamie, and I are good friends now, and we could have been then. But there were too many lies flying around.

Matt and Julie have really taken advantage of the fame aspect of the show. \ won't say that's necessarily a bad thing. Hell, the fame can be fun. The good parts of fame are when you're ready for it— that is, you've taken a shower, aren't hung over, and you're spinning around in circles, not tripping over your feet. The worst is when you're not ready for it and you're in a bad mood.

I like speaking at the universities. I can't say there's a better feeling than people coming up to me and thanking me for talking about depression or my thoughts on abortion. It's phenomenal to me that people would care what I think. It's crazy, but they do.

Do I think I've changed? Yeah, I'm a lot happier now. I relax and try to enjoy my life. I don't know if that has anything to do with the show; maybe it's just about growing up. A lot has happened to me in the past year. I changed the city I live in. I moved in with a boyfriend. I've learned patience. Living with a guy will teach you that really fasti I think I've probably learned to bite my tongue, too.

Peter is cute about the fame stuff. He gets shy, but you can tell from the glint in his eye that he thinks it's kind of fun.

Want to hear one of my favorite stories? This guy came into the ER. He
was out of control, having some kind of a weird psychotic break. He
was screaming at everybody, scaring people. Peter came over to try
and calm him down. He had this wild look in his eyes, and then all of a
sudden, he looks at Peter good and close and goes: "Aren't you that
doctor from The Real World?" He totally calmed down and started
asking a million questions about the cast.

 

If I wanted to tell readers one thing, it'd be this: allow people on these shows to change and grow. Don't attach too much significance to the
episodes you see. Don't hold us accountable for linings we said in passing. Let us move on like everybody else. That's it, I guess.

 

back

FAVORITE MOMENT

When Peter and I are at the coffee shop and I'm telling him I'm going to stay in New Orleans. They put this really intense song over it. It's perfect, about how the person is rny life. If we ever got married, I'll play it at the wedding. I love that.

LEAST FAVORITE MOMENT

Hearing my roommates talk about Peter's ex-girl friend. She didn't deserve to be dragged in to the show like that.

FUNNIEST MOMENT

I know exactly what it was. The night of Melissa's birthday, when she's in her underwear and she's
doing that chicken dance. She looked like she was on a puppet string bouncing down the hallway.

WISH THEY'D SHOWN

Danny and I went to church one day. He had neverbeen to an Episcopal church before. I'd told him it was a really accepting community, but he didn't
believe me. During the service. I looked over at him and he was just crying. We talked for three hours
after that. It was a total purge conversation for both of us. I think that's when our bond was locked down permanently.

FASHION DISASTER

When Melissa and I are arguing and I'm weaving this T-shirt that says "Betty's Surf Shop." My hair is a mess and the shirt had sweat stains. Melissa, of course, looked amazing.

HOUSE OF SHAME

When I threw my leg over David's shoulder like a stripper. Oh, and when I put a prom dress on and slurred my way through a confessional. Not cute.

 

 

On June 19, MTV will air a special 10-year-anniversary tribute to "The Real World." It will include interviews with past cast members and celebrity fans of the show, (including yours truly), along with special moments from this groundbreaking television experience. In light of the current saturation of reality TV, we forget that "The Real World" was the granddaddy of them all. 

It discussed real issues that much of society only discussed behind closed doors: AIDS, race, gender, class, alcoholism, religion, abortion and most of all, sexuality. Every year, from its inception, "The Real World" had at least one gay, lesbian or bisexual member in the cast. 

 

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Russ
Posted by Danny on 1/20/2002 at 10:31:58
IP: 64.255.219.232

Hopefully you'll stop by and read this before it scrolls off, but I just noticed that you were posting on the board and I wanted to respond. Yes, you are the guy I was referring to in that interview about a guy who was openly gay in highschool. I'm extremely glad you've found happiness in life and I wish you the best. Moving on from the past is the best. And one more thing Russ, get the story straight...we never held hands...more like, you tried to hold my hand. It was very obvious to me even back then that you wanted more than to be friends and I was not down with that back then. But again, i just want to say how happy I am for you that you've found your place in the world and wish you the best.
Much Love,
Danny

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From: "Eric Klappholz" <urk311@hotmail.com> | Block Address | Add to Address Book 
To: ctoc26@yahoo.com 
Subject: Doing Great Things
Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2002 15:02:14

Just wanted to drop a line and tell you that this is a wonderful site. 
I think you, Paul and Danny are doing great things through this site. 
It's nice that you have created a "clean" place were gays, straights or however can come and look around, ask questions, find answers or just sound off....

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