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As her surprisingly clever reality show threatens to take off, Paris Hilton talks to Michael Musto about dating gay men and that lesbian rumor.

HALF OF AMERICA'S FAVORITE SISTER act since the Gabors (or maybe the Olsens), Paris Hilton has dated famous people, recorded music, modeled, and will star in a new reality show (The Simple Life), all while dancing on tabletops. Born into a privileged life of wealth and opportunity, she's partied harder than Michael Alig, but lately she's admirably tried to shed the famous-for-being-famous routine by straining to become known more for doing than for just existing. She's so busy with this plan, in fact, that getting her on the phone proved harder than tracking down J.D. Salinger.

This hurt, because I'm a close personal friend of Paris and her sister, Nicky. Well, all right, I met them once but I was also one of the experts used on the El True Hollywood Story about them. (Their mom, Kathy Hilton, even called to praise me for being so fair on the show.) And Paris did agree to be interviewed, but the next day, the New York Post's Page Six column reported that she'd been spotted wildly making out with former Madonna and Sandra gal-pal Ingrid Casares in Miami Beach. This led to a firestorm of denials, with Paris, Mom, Dad, Paris's flack, and her Simple Life costar Nicole Richie all publicly swearing that the two were just friends. (Along with the vehement repudiations, the column ran a photo of Ingrid with her hand around Paris, landing on Paris's butt.) It was weird that, considering all the potentially damaging things that have been written about the Hiltons, this was the item that got everyone's goat.

Up to now, my impression of Paris was that, though she and her sister had truly arrived as entertaining presences, they both generally seemed to be searching, never fully fathoming their place on the scene. For the last few years they've been so omnipresent that I'm always afraid I'll wake up and see them dancing on my kitchen table. But they've also been a bit poignantly conflicted about their ubiquity, as if they knew there

was an underlying emptiness to being so coveted and yet so job less. "We hate being famous," Paris told me a couple of years ago. "We don't like reading about ourselves. It sucks. People are mean." I felt for her even as she then went along with a long photo session with the frothing paparazzi.

As I pondered these misty watercolor thoughts for a whole week, something wondrous happened she called. I promptly set to work demystifying all the scandal reports, and Paris told me that "literally 5%" of whafs been written about her is true. She seemed especially irked when I asked if she really dated septuagenarian movie producer Robert Evans. "Are you insane?" she squawked. "He's like 80 years old. I know him through one of his business partners and went to meetings in his office. I'm 22. I'm not going to hook up with an old man. He's really nice, but there's nothing going on." (Sheesh, don't hold back your feelings, girl.)

As for her alliance with Casares: "I've known her for years. I love Ingrid. My sister and I hang out with her. People were trying to make up a story." But what about the hand on the ass? "We were just standing there," she said, getting worked up again.

Paris was burning, but she wanted to make clear that she simply adores gay people. She's gone to the Normandie Room (a lesbian bar) in West Hollywood and Beige (a gay lounge) in New York. She's been hit on by ladies and had gay guys say, "You're the only woman for me." She even knowingly dated a gay guy in ninth grade because "He was really nice." And more recently, one of her most prominent boyfriends made my gaydar ping quite loudly. "No comment," responded Paris. "But everyone says that." Hello!

Whether she sleeps with the gays or not, she says they're definitely her favorite companions. "Most of my friends are gay," she revealed. "They're not trying to hook up with you, and they're more honest about an outfit than a girl would be. They'll tell you if you look fat." Paris Hilton looking fat? The gays dearly need glasses.

Anyway, living off the fat of the land, Paris and Nicole were stripped of their fancy outfits and made to toil on a farm in Arkansas for their inevitable reality venture, The Simple Life. The show represents just how much the work ethic has come to influence party girl Paris. "The worst thing was not having my cell phone," she admits. "But I learned a lot about the value of money and working for it. We had to do every kind of job possible. We learned a lot about jobs." (Hey, maybe we should all take on such a show.)

The hilarious first episode, debuting December 2, has the gals with "no money, no luxury, no clue" shrieking as they drive around a dead possum, wanly shop for pigs' feet, and declare, "I'm not plucking anything except my eyebrows." (They're not totally averse to chicken, though; Richie sizes up a young guy in their midst and deadpans to Paris, "Let s have a three-way with him.") But the most revealing thing is that, by constantly acting dumbfounded and asking what words mean, the two city slickers sometimes come off as less sophisticated than the supposed hicks.

Has Paris ever seen Green Acres, whose premise The Simple Life liberally borrowed? Yes, she said, because Great-Grandpa Hilton married Eva Gabor's sister Zsa Zsa. "If s cute," she said, "but our show's better." Don't laugh that kind of moxie may get this little lady to the head of the table

The Leding Family are a multi-generational family who reside on Altus, AR on a farm that has been on their family since 1882. Grandparents Richard (76) and Curly have been married for over 50 years. Their youngest son, Albert (41) is the head of the household and works for the state. He's been married to Janet (38) a bus driver and mom, for 21 years. Albert and Janet have four sons, three of them live at home: Justin is 19, and he works part time at a restaurant and is full time student. 15 years old Cayne is a sophomore at a local high school: Braxton is four years old. Their oldest son Ryan is 20 years old and currently serving the military.